


Hello Bucky

by pepperBubble



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-05 03:56:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4164810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperBubble/pseuds/pepperBubble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve never goes to war, and Bucky never comes home</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Promises are made to be broken

**Author's Note:**

> In which Steve actually took the hint and gave up trying to enlist for the army and sits back helplessly whilst Bucky is off to Europe fighting against the Nazis and HYDRA. 
> 
> This is the first chaptered thing I've done on this website because if I had left it to run as one big story, I'm pretty sure it would have just become a huge, babbling, horrible mess by some point. But yeah... enjoy!

1944

* * *

* * *

 

Steve waits for new, any news, telling him that Bucky is safe and well. He knows that it'll be really difficult for Bucky to write to him when he was halfway across the world fighting in Europe, but he promised Steve he would write. The final they had spent together Steve made Bucky swear on his life that he would try to write regularly and even if Steve couldn't write back or Bucky never got his letters, at least he would know he was safe. Just one letter would do it. 

Enlisting in the army had been easy for Bucky; he was tall, strong, and extremely fit. He was the perfect example of what the US Army was looking for in troops to send over to help in the fight for Europe. Steve on the other hand never had a chance; small, weak, and suffering from so many medical conditions it was a miracle that he was even alive there was no way he was even going to be considered for training. No matter how many times he tried- or how many different identities he used for the screening process- Steve was _never_ going to be selected but that was a factor too difficult to accept. 

"This isn't some back alley fight where you can pick yourself up after being knocked down, this is war Steve! One wrong move and you're as good as dead!" 

He had gotten use to Bucky giving him the talk every time he found a rejection slip hidden in his jacket. Bucky knew just as well as anybody how much Steve had wanted to go and fight- he was probably the only person in the whole country who was excited over the possibility of fighting for their country and for the freedom of others- but Bucky just wanted him to understand the importance of the conflict, how dangerous it could potentially be. 

"What's wrong with wanting to go and fight for my country Buck? So what if I'm someone who wants to do what's right and give people the freedom they deserve? Is that such a crime now?" 

Bucky hated getting into arguments with Steve over enlistment. He knew there was nothing wrong in Steve being a typical patriotic man of the moment (he probably wasn't the only one) but he needed Steve to understand the gravity of what the country was getting itself into. Even if Steve was fit for enlistment, Bucky believed that he could never forgive himself if something ever happened to Steve. He cared about him too much to allow anything to happen. 

"Promise me Steve that won't do anything stupid and stop trying to enlist" Bucky makes him promise on their last night together. He's pretty sure that Steve will try to do so, but nonetheless he promises and Bucky leaves it at that. 

"You have to promise me- no, swear on your life- that you'll write to me often. I don't care if you're here or halfway across France, I'll need to know if you're safe" Steve makes Bucky promise and if that means he'll do as he says and stays away from enlistment offices, Bucky is quick to promise him. 

Steve also asks Bucky to promise him that he'll come home. He'll come home safe and sound because without Bucky by his side, Steve isn't sure how it would be possible for him to carry on living normally. Both of them aren't stupid though; this is war, there is a very high possibility that Bucky could be killed in action. There is also a very high possibility that Bucky could come home scratch free and it is this that keeps them both hoping and to put Steve at peace, Bucky promises to come home. 

 

Steve had never felt as lonely as he had done once Bucky had left. He was use to Bucky not being around much; but that usually for a few hours, a day max. This time it was different, this time Bucky was on his way to Europe and Steve knew it would be a very long time until he saw him again, but he was willing to wait. 

Bucky had managed to keep his promise in writing to Steve initially. He sent a letter just before he was bound for England and then sent another one updating Steve that he was still alive and was being sent out towards Germany. Since then Steve hadn't heard from him and he wanted to keep it planted in his mind that Bucky was in Germany, it was going to be extremely difficult to send letters to him halfway across the world. He was probably preoccupied with staying alive rather than writing to Steve at this moment in time. Yeah, that was probably it, Steve could wait. 

 

"Ah yes, hello, are you Steve Rogers?" 

Steve had been woken up early one morning to the sound of knocking on his door which didn't persist until he had gotten that lazy ass of his out of bed and had to answer the door himself to stop it. 

"Uh yes I am, who's asking?" 

The man in front of him is just as tall as Bucky, if not just a teeny tiny bit shorter. Though he looks like any other man one would meet in the streets, his distinctive mustache is what probably sets him apart.

"My name is Howard Stark. I've flown here personally from London to talk to you about your friend James Barnes. May I come in?"

There was no easy way for Howard to tell him this, but what other way could he have put it? From what he was willing to tell Steve, Bucky was in a group alongside five other men who called themselves the Howling Commandos. Their mission had been to destroy anything linked to a Nazi rogue division called HYDRA and had been known to do so quickly and efficiently. On one mission however Bucky had gone missing, eye witness accounts suggesting he fell from a train and though a search party had been organised to look for him upon news of his disappearance, he had not been found. That was over a week ago, and since then he had been missing presumed killed in action. 

Howard had tried to soften the blow for Steve by reassuring him that Bucky was the best of the best at what he did. That without him and the Commandos the world would have been at a huge risk of being destroyed at the hands of HYDRA and that his sacrifice had meant that the world would remain a safe place. 

Steve wasn't listening. Even if he was, he wouldn't have been able to take in what Howard was telling him. The greatest concern for him at that moment was that Bucky was gone. He had broken his promise. He wasn't coming home and Steve would never see him again. 

He wasn't so sure which part of that broke his heart the most... 


	2. Ghost Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steve is in his nineties having lived a good life and everybody is freaking the heck out over one of the deadliest legends known to the world... except him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the last chapter was kind of setting the scene and starting this in the direction of where it was heading. This chapter will most likely be a lot longer than the last as there is a lot more to explore such as what happened to Steve next, did he ever get over losing Bucky, how do Tony, Natasha and Sam come into this? All of this shall be explored in this chapter right here!

Though now in his nineties, it was a miracle that Steve had even managed to live into thirties, his forties and even his fifties. The life he had managed to make for himself he could never have envisaged in that tiny apartment back in Brooklyn and to say he felt blessed for the life he had and the lives he had managed to touch would be one huge understatement. 

Of course it was never easy. Nobody ever really grows up and experiences life without a few hiccups along the way. His first setback was figuring out what the heck he was going to do now that Bucky was gone. After Howard's first initial visit Steve knew then that he was in serious trouble; he relied on Bucky more than anybody else could imagine and knowing that he was never going to be graced with his presence again troubled Steve greatly. These moments of despair however were diminished when Howard returned to his apartment with the offer of having Steve come and work for him. 

"James always spoke fondly of his best memories back here in Brooklyn. Most involved you and hearing how highly he spoke of you, I've decided to give you a chance" 

Steve was still stupefied as to why a man like Howard Stark would even consider a guy like him to be worthy enough to come and work for him. Was he really willing to believe the word of Bucky like that? Steve wasn't perfect and he feared that Bucky's words would have just set him up only to have them come crashing down on him later on. Nevertheless, Steve began to work for Howard as the man had originally asked him to do. Working for Stark was quite an interesting part of Steve's life, never a dull moment to be exact. Steve even got to be there at the creation of SHIELD, meet key figures such as Peggy Carter, even got to meet the men Bucky had fought alongside of in the Howling Commandos. All had nothing but positive words for Bucky and if anything Steve felt immensely proud at the legacy Bucky was able to leave on those around him.

The next biggest setback came in his early thirties when Steve became ill and it almost killed him. Steve didn't remember much about it, all he could remember was Howard constantly blaming himself for "overworking the guy" when that was never the case and in fact Steve's immune system was just too damn weak to fight anything!

That didn't mean Steve gave up fighting right away. He didn't want to die young and Howard was always telling him to just hang on that little bit longer; that he was in the midst of developing something which would help Steve to recover. With this hope, Steve did as he said and hung on, however ever so slowly this request was becoming just a little bit more difficult for Steve to fulfill. Some points he even thought his time was soon going to be up, sometimes he thought he saw someone looking a lot like Bucky stood there smiling at him, holding out his hand as if inviting Steve to take it. He was ready to die. 

Then Howard had perfect his serum. Working with a team of top scientists, he was able to develop a serum that would not only cure Steve of the illness that was close to killing him, it had also managed to cure him completely. Though he still looked like the same 5'4" guy with his floppy blonde hair and blue eyes, he felt different. No more was he constantly feeling out of breath completing menial tasks, no more did he have to fear that even the common cold would keep him bedridden for just that little bit longer compared to everybody else. The serum had cured him completely and he felt like a new man ready to live a new life to the fullest. 

The new man he was, Steve was able to work much more alongside Howard, he was there to play best man at his wedding, he was there to become godfather to Howard's son Tony (though by the time his parents died, Tony didn't really need Steve to look after him. That didn't mean that Tony didn't go to him for help over what to do next and how he should feel about being orphaned). 

The biggest contribution Steve was able to make by far was working alongside the remaining Howling Commandos throughout the 90's and 00's when the world finally learned of the sacrifice they had made to protect civilization against HYDRA and the Smithsonian approached wanting to create an exhibit to celebrate and commemorate their achievements. Steve wanted to be there helping out so that anything written about Bucky, about his early life and how he lived before joining the army was correct, how people would know the truth about him and not something made up in some fantasy to sooth their thirst for knowledge.

Working on this exhibit, Steve got to to see footage he had never seen before of Bucky in action, Bucky working on strategies to take over and destroy HYDRA bases, laughing and looking like he was genuinely having fun working alongside the other men. He got to see the uniform Bucky wore and the weapons he would have handled in one mission or another. Steve even thought of donating the few letters Bucky had sent him to the exhibit, but at the last minute decided against it, they were too personal to give away.

All Steve had wanted to do was to live a good life. He had promised Bucky he wouldn't try to enlist into the army and in doing so had taken himself on a different path where he was able to do so much. He just hoped that in the process he was able to make Bucky feel proud of him from wherever he was watching...

* * *

* * *

2014

"Hey, hey what's all this shouting about?"

Having been woken up by an argument between Natasha and Tony (commonly seen throughout Stark Towers on a daily basis) Steve had at first tried to ignore the two of them and continued to sleep. The shouting however got louder and louder and if Steve was going to want it to stop anytime soon then the only way he knew how was to get Sam to help him out of bed and to help him go investigate just what the heck is going on.

"You shouldn't be out of bed, you should be resting!" Tony scolds when he see's Steve stood in the doorway holding onto Sam's arm for support. One of the perks- Steve eventually realised- to having the serum Howard had created was that Steve was able to live his life quite active and lively, something he never thought he would have been able to do. People were often quite surprised to see Steve in his sixties and seventies still active like he had been thirty years before, as though he had never changed. It was only when he hit his late eighties did his age finally catch up to him and he felt like he was reverting back to the Steve he use to be.

Not that it mattered, he had Tony with him who had already done so much for him. Along the way they had managed to make friends with Sam at one of the many anniversaries to celebrate so many years after a certain war and finally 'adopted' Natasha into his small little unit so that he was able to create a little family for himself, knowing that as long as he took care of them, they were going to take care of him.

"I came out here to see why you two are shouting at each other so late at night. It woke me up from my sleep!"

Tony certainly looks guilty, but he's not going to make a move to answer Steve's question anytime soon. Hearing a scoff from Natasha, Steve turns his attention over to her and knows that if Tony isn't going to talk then she most certainly will.

"We may be potentially exposed to a threat, a _real_ threat, but Stark here is thinking nothing of it and instead of creating measures to protect us- you for that matter- he thinks it's best if we just sit around and act like nothing's wrong" 

"Oh please, I know that what we're faced with is extremely dangerous but news flash Ice Queen; do you see a deadly assassin waiting around to shoot us all? No. Has JARVIS picked up any movements of a metal armed, Russian speaking, crazed lunatic anywhere near the place? No. So for now we can relax" 

Steve knew exactly who the two of them were arguing about. Though believed by many to be a ghost story, the deadly assassin they were talking about was none other than the Winter Soldier. As a revered legend throughout the world, it is often said that the soldier has been credited with over a dozen assassinations, even shooting through Natasha to kill a target and being linked to the deaths of Tony's parents. Both had their reasons to worry about the assassin, and Steve could understand why, but standing there arguing about it was going to get them nowhere. 

"Why are you both so worried about someone who hasn't been cited near this place since it was first built?" Sam asks and Steve is very interested to hear this answer himself 

"Because the soldier is deadly. For all we know he could be hiding in the shadows right near us and because he's so skillful it may be extremely difficult for JARVIS to pick him up" Natasha replied, shooting the last park of her explanation towards Tony who can only sigh and roll his eyes in reply. 

"Though they are just rumours for now, there are words going around suggesting that after we played our part in the destruction of HYDRA and SHIELD, the Winter Soldier went rogue. We have no idea where he's been and by himself he is extremely dangerous and unstable. We know from interrogations that HYDRA constantly wiped his memory to stop him from remembering previous missions to keep moving forward, but what if he remembers something? What if he remembers something connected to us and his previous missions and comes after us thinking he hasn't finished them? That's why I'm worried!" 

Hearing Natasha's side of the story, both Sam and Steve turn their attention to Tony who had turned off a while into Natasha's explanation, only realising it was indeed his turn when he saw three pairs of eyes staring at him. 

"We're worried, of course we are, and we're obviously worried for our safety- especially your safety Steve- but panicking about something that hasn't happened yet is just stupid. Yes there is a risk that it could happen but the soldier probably has other targets to take down before even getting to us. If such a time comes where myself or JARVIS thinks we're in any danger I've already had Pepper organise somewhere safe for us to lay low until I feel we're out of any immediate danger. Until then you can quit your worrying" 

Seeing how the two of them argued towards each other, Steve often found it hard to believe that one was extremely rich and the other a former assassin herself. If he wanted the argument to be resolved anytime soon he was going to have to end it himself. 

"Being worried about this soldier is of course extremely worrying, especially given your pasts with him" he begins "But all we know about him is through interrogation and even then we still don't know enough, we don't even have a clear identity of this man we can even try to use to attempt to track him down. What I say for now is that we _should_ probably keep our eyes open, but until JARVIS feels there is an immediate threat continue on as we have been previously" 

If Tony and Natasha weren't going to listen to each other, they were most certainly going to listen to Steve and very soon after they were all back into bed. Steve is tucked in and feels himself begin to doze off when his ears are able to just pick up the sound of something at the end of his bed, looking up to see a dark shadow waiting for him. 

The rooms of Natasha, Sam and Tony are all within reasonable distance of Steve's and he knows that JARVIS will only talk to him if he calls for him. Very slowly he sits up and the shadow remains motionless as he switches on a light and stood at the very end of his bed is a figure he's come to know very well over the previous visits encountered between the two. It wasn't as if Steve hadn't known them just as well previously anyway, therefore he always greets him just as he has done every other time. 

"Hello Bucky" 


	3. The Winter Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The threat Natasha and Tony fear the most is closer than they think and Steve is not afraid...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where everything is finally summed up as to why Bucky is there, how often he had been visiting Steve and where they go from there... because it's not exactly like Tony, Natasha and Sam are going to welcome him in with open arms are they?

Tony and Natasha had every reason to worry at the possibility that the Winter Soldier could be nearby and considered as a threat. In fact what they failed to realise was that the threat was a lot closer to them than they could have imagined and had been frequenting to the building for the past three weeks. If Steve had told them what was going on, they would have cleared out of the building A.S.A.P and gone to one of the many safe houses Natasha had set up (though they trusted Tony that Pepper had somewhere safe to stay in this type of emergency, Steve was willing to bet any money that in the end they would have to force him to agree to Natasha's location and put up with him whining about it for a while). Steve just couldn't risk telling them if it meant it took away his opportunity of being able to see the soldier.

The first appearance was the biggest shock Steve had since finding out Bucky had died. There in his room stood a man many had feared for so long, he was there right in front of him and for the first time in a very long time, Steve was afraid. Not even the possibility of dying back when he was ill scared him as much as this and though the wise thing to do would have been to shout for help, it was what the soldier had done next that stopped him from doing so.

"I-I know you"

His voice cracks, it's dry, as though he hasn't used it for a very long time, that's the first thing Steve notices about the soldier. The second thing he is able to take in is how the soldier says he knows him. How that was possible Steve had no idea because he was pretty sure he had never come across the soldier before. All he knew about him was snooping through classified SHIELD files when nobody was looking and stories from Tony and Natasha. 

"I don't think you do" he says back and is sure to keep his voice down so he doesn't alert JARVIS or anybody else who may be still awake

"I made a promise" the soldier says and Steve really had no idea as to what he is talking about and is so close to getting somebody in here to help him. Then he remembers that he's not that type of person, and that he's never been that type of person who has never had anybody help him unless it was Bucky when it was clear that Steve was massively outnumbered during a confrontation. He can handle this all by himself. 

"I don't know if you made a promise or not. I really can't help you" he tried bu the soldier doesn't budge 

"I made a promise to you, to come back home" 

Getting old with age had not done well for Steve's memory. At times even remembering something as simple as Sam's birthday was a struggle for him. Yet there was something about what the soldier had said that had triggered something within Steve. In fact, the more the soldier spoke, the more that voice sounded so awfully familiar. 

"What did you say" 

"I promised you to come home... to come back safe and sound" 

The higher Steve sits, the more he is able to take in. Even in the dark he can see the outline of the infamous metal arm the Winter Soldier has been renowned for, he can make out the long and slightly greasy hair lining the soldier's face and all the soldier has to do is turn his head slightly to allow Steve to get a good look at him before he's doing his best to not react in a way that will alert the others and potentially scare the soldier off, never to be seen again. 

"Bu-Bucky?" 

"... so that's my name" 

 

* * *

* * *

 

"Hello Bucky" 

Bucky has gotten past questioning Steve on why he's always calling him Bucky instead of James _"It's what they kept calling me at the museum exhibit"_ he had told Steve but it had take him a while to fully grasp the concept of nicknames. Now he just acknowledges being called by the former with a curt nod of the head. 

There is so much that Steve wants to ask him. The number one question plaguing his mind was how the heck had Bucky had survived the fall? More importantly how he ended up with the metal arm and being HYDRA's little puppet they continually played with. What was so frustrating about this however was that from what Bucky had told him, he would have his memory wiped after every mission he was sent on before being put back cryofreeze. Add that to the amount of time Bucky was being used as HYDRA's weapon, most of his memories were practically wiped out of him, and it was only now that he was beginning to gain most of them back. 

The one positive Steve could take from this though was that despite all the memory wipes, he was the one Bucky remembered the most from his previous life... 

"I finally remembered the HYDRA base I was taken to. It was after I fell from the train" 

Meetings between the two of them always consisted of this pattern; Bucky would do the talking, Steve would sit and listen and only spoke when Bucky had a question that needed answering. For the past three weeks every visit had been just Bucky trying to pick up the pieces that were missing, hoping that Steve was the person who would help him fill the gaps in his life story. This had been the first time in over a week Steve had see Bucky, and now he knew why and what Bucky had been doing in that time. 

"What did you do?" he asked, though he had a little inkling in his head of what Bucky had done, overhearing Sam and Natasha discussing a mission they were going to be sent on over in Europe, something about a HYDRA base being uncovered and looking in the worst state compared to others they had previously infiltrated. That didn't matter though, whatever they could grab from there would be absolutely valuable for SHIELD. 

"I trashed it. Everywhere I looked it brought back painful memories and I just... I just wanted it to stop" Bucky began and stopped to compose himself when he felt his voice cracking "I found some old files and started looking through them, maybe they had something about me, and I found this" 

Fishing what looked like a slip of paper out of his pocket, Bucky handed it over to Steve and on closer inspection was a set of three photos the two of them had taken together in a photo booth one afternoon. Steve could remember it clearly; the thing was cheap and it wasn't like the two of them had anything better to do. It was Bucky who made sure the two of them pulled funny faces for each of the photo's and it was Steve who gave Bucky the picture to take with him whilst he was away fighting. 

"Soldiers usually take pictures of some girl they have waiting for them, or their parents. Neither really apply to me and photo's of your parents are almost non-existent so..." 

He could even remember the lame excuse he had given Bucky when he handed the picture over. It was totally lame! Though Bucky never said anything about it and still took the picture. If he was handing it over now, he must have had it on him the day he fell to his supposed death. 

"Oh yeah, I remember this day" Steve recalls happily but then cringes when he see's how troubled Bucky looks over the fact that Steve can remember even the picture being taken, let alone the events of the day leading up to it. 

"You look younger" Bucky comments and Steve realises that besides the photo's of him that had been taken during his time working alongside Howard in SHIELD, this was probably the only picture that existed of him before everything was turned upside down. 

"I should think so, it was taken over seventy years ago" he explains and gently laughs at how ridiculous the two of them look in the last picture "My hair was blonde back then, and I always use to envy your hair; it would have this natural height to it and all I could do was gel mine down so that it at least looked presentable" 

"That was seventy years ago?" Bucky asks and once again he looks and sounds like a fragile child, he usually sounded like this when Steve told him something about the past and it hit him just how long ago it was. 

"Yes Bucky, seventy years" Steve replies and watches carefully to see how Bucky will react to the news 

"I-I... people have been thinking that I've been dead for seventy years? A-and you've... you've been waiting for me to come home for seventy years... oh God" 

The louder Bucky gets and the more panicked he becomes is the only time Steve intervenes to calm him down. He understands how big of a shock this must be, how messed up everything is for him right now, but he really needs to stay quiet to avoid alerting the others if he wanted these visits to continue. 

"I know this is a huge shock Bucky" even as he speaks, it's a lie; he has no idea what this must be like for his friend "Please don't blame yourself for what has happened over these seventy years, none of it is your fault" 

"I-I left you waiting for me for _seventy years_ " Bucky chokes out and this is the first time that he's displayed any kind of emotion without instantly reverting back to the cold soldier he had grown accustomed to acting like, using it as a barrier to hide the pain and confusion of what he was going through. 

"Yes it has been, but look at me Bucky; I've lived a good life, I've gone to places. You've seen the people I've surrounded myself with and you've seen through the museum the work I've done since you've been gone. I have been waiting for you, but I've also done well for myself" 

If Steve hadn't pulled Bucky down onto the bed next to him, he thought he was going to faint, so much was this to take in for him. Steve had no idea what physical contact would do to Bucky; would it trigger something within him and make him act irrationally? Would he hurt Steve if he tried touching Bucky? Whatever worries Steve had, just looking at the state of the guy told him otherwise. 

"Everything is so messed up right now" Bucky muttered, slapping his head and groaning to himself. He was a lot stronger than Steve so it took him quite a lot to muster up the strength to stop Bucky from hurting himself like that. 

"Why me? Why did they have to choose me? I can't even remember my own name half the time, let alone what they made me do! I made you think I was dead... you spent seventy years wondering where I was... everything is just so fucked up!" 

Steve didn't care if Bucky was going to push him away if he did this, but he didn't care. For seventy long years he had waited to hold Bucky in his arms again and now was as good as ever to do so, wrapping his arms around Bucky's waist and holding him with whatever strength he had to do so. 

"You're not alone though, are you? I'm here, I'll help you" 

"I don't think your friends will be happy with it though" 

Ah yes... Steve was probably going to have to tell them at some point- he couldn't keep it a secret forever- but until then, that was not his main priority what mattered was calming Bucky down and reassuring him. 

"They don't matter right now. What matters is you and taking care of you, treating you correctly which HYDRA failed to do so horribly. I've waited seventy years to be with you again, I can wait just that little bit longer for you to get back on track again. How does that sound?" 

Though Bucky doesn't answer him, he allows Steve to continue hugging him. For now, that's all that Steve needs... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... now that I've read the final part I dunno if I ended it too abruptly... 
> 
> But hey ho, this is finally finished! So yeah, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it and if there is anything over the three chapters you think I could have expanded on or I didn't really write that well (I was probably half asleep when I wrote most of this anyway) then please feel free to comment! If not... thanks for reading!!


End file.
